Friday, December 25, 2009

Christmas Day

Merry Christmas from Basra! Well, this is my 5th deployment (2 x Bosnia, 3 x Iraq) but the first time I’ve spent Christmas away from home. I think the military does a pretty good job of ensuring holiday cheer is evident here in a combat zone. Thanks to many generous and thoughtful people in the States, we have numerous Christmas trees throughout our headquarters. There are also many strands of lights and Christmas stockings hung around the building. So all things considered, the place looks pretty nice. And I hear the meal tonight will be a great one, complete with 26 different kinds of pies. I didn’t even know there were 26 different kinds of pies.

Yesterday, a group of soldiers donned Santa hats and walked around our building caroling. Since we don’t have a radio station here I really haven’t heard Christmas songs this year so it was nice to listen to them sing some familiar songs. Last evening, an armored security vehicle normally used for combat patrols was decked out with loud speakers. It rolled slowly through the base camp playing Christmas tunes. And there literally hundreds of cards and posters lining our walls sent from schools and other organizations within the States. Santa even walked through a few minutes ago handing out little bags of goodies.

There are a few televisions set up in our two dining facilities. Each TV was playing a different Christmas movie last night. Some I noticed playing were “Home Alone”, “Elf”, “Christmas Vacation”, and “It’s a Wonderful Life”. It was nice to watch a few minutes of a Christmas movie and be reminded of our own holiday traditions with our families back home.

I set my alarm for 2:30 AM this morning because I had a planned time of 6:00 PM Oklahoma time (3:00 AM Iraq time) to video chat with my family. So even though it was the middle of the night for me it was worth it to see my wife, little boy, parents, sisters, nieces, cousins, and aunts and uncles for a few minutes. Christmas Eve is probably one of my favorite days of the year as it’s the time when we traditionally get together for a nice meal and to open presents. So even though I would rather have been there in person it was nice to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and to see them enjoying their evening.

I can tell you from a Soldier’s prospective that it is difficult to be away from home during the holidays. I think people are in good spirits today and I’ve enjoyed talking with my co-workers and telling stories about what we normally do during the holidays. The war doesn’t stop for the holidays so today is sort of a work day. Each of us have been in the building some just working on a few issues and keeping up with tasks. But we also will take some time off this afternoon. I can tell my looking at Soldiers sometimes that they are in thought about their families and their homes. It’s just all part of the deal and everyone will be back focused on the job at hand tomorrow.

I also know it is extremely tough on the families who are at home. My wife looked so pretty last night on video and my little boy was dressed in a red Santa type outfit, complete with a black belt and gold buckle. It’s so nice to see them but makes the walk back to my little trailer a tough one. But they are in place surrounded by love and I know they had a good time eating and opening presents. And we know that next year I’ll be right there with them.

I truly hope anyone reading this has an enjoyable holiday season filled with joy and thankfulness. Hug your family and extra time for me today. And thanks for all the great support to all those serving abroad and our families back home.

Mike
Basra, Iraq

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Back in Iraq

Well, here I am back in the Middle East. Spent a few days training in Kuwait before arriving in Basra, Iraq a few days ago. Actually, I’m back in Kuwait today preparing to fly to Baghdad tomorrow for a few days. Flew here this morning from Basra.

My intent is to use this blog to journal my thoughts during this deployment as well as provide friends and family an idea of what I’m doing and how life is in Iraq. While I plan to keep it entertaining as in the past I also want to share with you the raw emotions a soldier and family go through during a long deployment like this. So sometimes it will seem like I’m feeling sorry for myself and others it will seem like I’m having the time of my life. Just part of the emotional roller coaster associated with a long separation.

I’d like to take the opportunity during this first entry to discuss my last few weeks and days prior to leaving my family for a year.

Without a doubt, walking out the door of my house at 4:20 AM on December 2nd, 2009 was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. No matter how much notice you have the actual departure is almost unbearable on your heart and that last hug is brutal on your emotions and inner being. Shelly and I have known I was deploying for over a year now. I think we took advantage of our time though and really enjoyed ourselves as a family. In an odd way, that contributes to the painful departure. Not that I would trade any of my time together with Shelly and Anderson. Because that quality time has provided me hours and hours of great memories and hundreds of pictures.

Our plan for the last few weeks prior to my deployment was to spend as much time together as possible, to keep things light, and to maximize our time with our family and friends. And I think we did a good job at that. We had a nice Caribbean vacation, spent several days at each of our parents’ house, and spent lots of time doing family activities. But no matter how happy things were and how much fun we were having the looming thought of separation was always in the back of my thoughts. Maybe it’s my own cruel mind, but I would find myself during happy times thinking about how short lived that feeling would be since I would be leaving soon. That contributed to lots of anxiety for the last few weeks.

So anyway, I love my wife and son more than anything. I thank God for blessing me with such a strong, close, and loving family. No matter how bad my day might have been, just knowing that when I walk into the door of my house I would be met by my little boy running and jumping into my arms made things all better. He’s just so much fun and the highlight of my day every day was to spend time with Shelly and him.

The night before I left I gave him a bath like I do every night I’m home then I read his books to him before bed like Shelly normally does. Just the feeling of knowing I was holding him for the last time caused an almost hyperventilation feeling. I tried to read the books but found myself just holding him with tears running down my cheeks onto his pajamas. I laid him down in his bed and kissed him goodnight. Then I walked with a numb feeling into the other room. I think I just stood there for a minute staring into space before finding Shelly and just letting her embrace me for a few minutes. We sat and talked about our feelings and about how we need to be strong and just get through this.

Since my bags were packed and by the door, we decided to get some sleep since I had to get up at 3:30 AM. Surprisingly, I slept pretty well. I think in some ways a weight was beginning to lift off my shoulders. I was finally going to get the clock started so I could focus on returning safely to my family. After I was up and ready to leave, we decided we would get Anderson up for a few minutes so I could say goodbye to him one last time. That feeling of hugging Anderson and Shelly at the same time at 4:10 AM is indescribable. I wasn’t going to see my two best friends for a long time. Shelly wept softly as she watched me hold my baby boy for the last few moments. With tears streaming down my face I gave him back to her so she could lay him back down in his bed.

I’m choosing to show the picture below because I think it captures some of the emotions of that moment.Soldiers cry too. There are certainly many opportunities during a soldier’s career to shed a tear. I could tell once I met up with my fellow soldiers for deployment they had similar mornings.

I think Shelly and I were both mentally drained as we walked to the door. All my bags were in my Jeep and we just held each other, said our “I love you’s” then I walked out the door. “Silent Night” was playing softly on the radio as I drove down my dark street. I was extremely sad but started thinking of all the Christmas mornings we will have as a family in our lifetime. Then I smiled and swelled with pride of how lucky I am to have a family like I do.

May God watch over us all and may our family’s strength sustain us until we re-unite.

So there you have it. Don’t worry, I’ll blog soon about what I’m doing and post some pictures. My job here is very interesting and rewarding. I look forward to making a difference.

Mike
Ali Al Salem Air Base, Kuwait