So I went to Breastfeeding Class with Shelly tonight. This was the first in a trilogy of baby classes we have over the next few weeks. I was a little leery about going as I'm sure any guy would be. For one thing, when Shelly called to schedule the class she asked the lady if husbands should attend. The lady said, "Well, if he feels comfortable". I wasn't sure how to take that as it didn't sound too reassuring. I would have felt better if she said, "Oh yes of course, we urge all husbands to attend and we cater to them as well!". But I decided to take my chances and go along.
Overall, it was a good class and very informative. My knowledge of breastfeeding increased by 100% primarily because I knew absolutely nothing about it prior to the class. Most other women had their husbands there so I wasn't the only dude.
I'd give the class an overall rating of PG-13 as there was quite a bit of partial nudity during the slide presentation. But we men remained focused on the task at hand and sat quietly taking notes, or at least pretending to take notes as to not seem like we're staring at the screen.
And how about that title...lactation consultant. I didn't know there was such a thing but it sure sounds official. And I'm sure it's indeed a crucial job. I wondered about being one myself and having a business card that said Michael Essary, Lactation Consultant. My phone number would be 531-8008. And for those who haven't picked up on it yet, get a calculator and put in those numbers. Now turn the calculator upside down. That's right, it says "BOOBIES", one of the best tricks there was back when I was in junior high.
Anyway, after 3 hours of discussions about breasts and milk I couldn't decide whether to stop at Hooters on the way home or just have some cereal. I chose the cereal, Cocoa Krispies in fact.
Enjoy this joke I ran across:
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A woman and a baby come into the doctor's office. She was
told to go into a room and wait for the doctor. After arriving there, the
doctor examined the baby and asked the woman, "Is he breast fed or on the
bottle?" "Breast fed" she replied.
"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered. She did. He pressed,
kneaded and pinched both breasts for a while in a detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed he said, "No wonder this baby is hungry. You
don't have any milk."
"Naturally," she said, "I'm his Aunt. But I'm glad I came in.
***********************
Mike
Kansas City, MO
3 comments:
You are sick, but funny.
I have to tell you that I have never visited a blog nor have I commented on one, that being said. Michael, you missed your calling, you need to be a comedian and a lactation consultant. From one who care for lots of babies, we need more proud papas like you. Give Shelly a big hug for me. Ashley
Thanks, Ashley. I'm glad you enjoy it. And I'll have to give Shelly a hug in two seperate actions...one for the front half and one for the back half. The baby bump prevents a hug happening in one entire action now. Thanks again. Mike
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