So we’re off the coast of British Columbia in Canada on the last full day of our cruise. Shelly really is interested in playing bingo after breakfast that morning. We had played once and lost earlier in the week but this was the big one. The winner that day would win a free 7-day cruise to the Caribbean. Now I’m weird with money. I have no problem paying more money for nice places to stay, for great vacations, and I enjoy taking folks out and buying dinner. So I’m typically very liberal with our money. But something really turns me off about gambling and I consider bingo gambling. I mean, I’ve been to Vegas numerous times and have probably gambled a total of 8 minutes in all of those trips. So when Shelly wanted to play bingo at $20 per card I was a bit hesitant. Plus, there were an estimated 500 people playing that day so I figured we’d have no chance. But hey, we’re on vacation. And as you all know, what Shelly wants Shelly gets.
We go into the large auditorium area and I tell Shelly that I’ll save us some seats while she waits in line. Pretty good trade huh? I felt guilty for like 4 seconds that I was sitting comfortably in my seat while Shelly was like the 17th person in line to get a card. The game begins and I notice Shelly is punching like every number the guys says. We’re playing “blackout” by the way where you must punch every spot on the card to win. I look around at other people’s cards and they have like half punched out compared to Shelly’s. Shelly gets down to only 3 remaining and I start getting a little nervous. My worst fear is we’d get so close then some blue hair would stand up and shout “bingo”. Then I’d have to wrestle her to the floor for her card and would get kicked off the ship and not welcomed back in the future.
For those not familiar with bingo, when you get to where you only need one number to win, you stand up. Shelly gets down to one and she stands, drawing hushed “oohs” and “aahhs” from the crowd and what would have been a middle finger or two from a younger audience. I’ll talk more about the age difference between us and the rest of the passengers on my next post but I’d say Shelly was 30 years younger than the average person in the room. At this point I can’t even look around and just stare at the floor, still thinking someone would also stand up and bingo before Shelly. The bingo announcer recognized Shelly standing as I listened for what is now my favorite bingo number, “I-19”. As people around me kept patting my back and whispering to me, I continued to stare at the floor.
And then it happened. You’ve all seen the movie “Old School” right? You know when Will Ferrell’s character accidentally shoots himself in the neck with a tranquilizer and he speaks very slowly and everything is in slow motion? That’s what it seemed like to me as the bingo dude said, “IIIII—niiiiiiinnnneteeeeeeen”. Shelly let out a hearty, “BINGO!” followed by some sort of little squeal we still haven’t identified yet. The crowd went wild with joy and also disappointment and I got two hugs from two decent looking 85-year olds near me. After he verified her card, we were the proud owners of a certificate good for a free 7-day cruise to anywhere in the Caribbean to be used anytime in the next 18 months (yes, there were 6 prepositions in that sentence). So to the future grandparents of our son, be ready as we may need your babysitting services at some point next spring/summer. And if anyone wants to tag along with us, just let us know.
The picture above has nothing to do with the bingo game, but it’s the closest resemblance to the grin Shelly had when she came back to her seat with the free cruise certificate in hand. That pic was from the lifeboat drill on the first day.
My next post will be about how I almost burned the ship down by singing karaoke on the last night of the cruise. Quite a memorable day as it was the same day Shelly won bingo.
Mike
Kansas City, MO
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