I've begun to notice an alarming trend in my life since this pregnancy began. I now watch chick flicks on what could now be referred to as a regular basis. As I attempt to evaluate myself and identify the source I've come to this conclusion. It's because of those darn books guys are supposed to read while their wife is pregnant. I've read at least 3 books for men saying all the things I should be doing while Shelly is pregnant. I'm supposed to comfort her, attend all doctor's appointments, spend quality time together, and there may be times I need to do things I wouldn't normally do. That's where I think the chick flick epidemic came from. Now while I enjoy doing all of things anyway, I think guys make a special effort while their spouse is pregnant. So if Shelly hints about seeing a chick flick, I now readily volunteer.
So we saw "Mamma Mia" the other day. That morning I was listening to the Johnny Dare Morning Show and he was bashing all these guys who had seen "Mamma Mia" over the weekend instead of "The Dark Knight". So when Shelly said she wanted to see "Mamma Mia", I was a bit hesitant. But I'm supposed to do things like this so I said "the heck with it, let's go".
We get there just a few minutes before the previews begin so there were quite a few people there already. As I scanned the crowd, I quickly noticed I was one of the only guys in there. We started walking up the stairs to our seat and I tried to look only at the ground, careful not to make eye contact with all the women in there likely snickering. I pretended to check my watch, glance at my cell phone, adjust my shoelaces, anything to not have to stare out into the mass of women.
When we reached our row I went ahead and looked out to the people. I then saw about 6 guys in there, already hunkering down in their seats in order to not draw attention to themselves. I made eye contact with a couple of them, exchanging the obligatory head nod that men do, AKA the distant hand shake. We would slightly grin to each other and sort of shrug our shoulders.
Unfortunately, since the theater was pretty full, all the aisle seats were taken. You know what that means right? Yep, we have to walk through an entire half row of girls to get to our seats in the middle. So my plan to be incognito was destroyed as each girl now has to get up and allow me to pass, wondering to themselves if I thought something else was playing in this theater, or wondering if I really am what a meterosexual looks like in person.
While waiting for the movie to start I tried to count the crowd and get an approximate guy to girl ratio. There were 14 rows of 16 people in the upper area making 224. Then there were several down at the bottom near the screen. So I'd say there were 250 people in there total. Then I counted the guys. In the end I think there were 242 girls and 8 guys. In many other settings this would be nice but not this time.
Luckily, the theater went dark and the movie began. I will say this though. I did enjoy the movie. Maybe because I like Abba's music and I thought the acting was good. It was odd though to see Remington Steele and 007 (Pierce Brosnan) singing gay Abba songs. After the movie ended, I got up and began to walk out. Of course all the girls stayed in their seats enjoying the closing credits and the music. So again, I have to walk down a complete row of girls in order to get out as I had to pee like crazy and could not delay any longer.
We're going to see "Step Brothers" after lunch today. Maybe that will even me out a little bit.
Well, better get back to watching "Steel Magnolias". And make sure we have "Hope Floats" ready to go for tonight.
Mike
Fort Leavenworth, KS
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