I read in the paper yesterday where Bon Jovi lead guitarist, Richie Sambora, has been charged with child endangerment following his DUI arrest a few weeks ago with his daughter in the car. There has been talk that it might affect his tour schedule but I seriously doubt it. Bon Jovi is in concert at the Sprint Center tonight and also Tuesday, the night Shelly and I are going.
But...just in case Richie decides to stay in California today and tend to personal issues and miss the concert tonight, I am volunteering my services to fill in on guitar for him. Now, I don't know how to play a real guitar but I do have one Shelly bought for me. Just haven't found the time to learn it yet. But I do know all the words to pretty much every Bon Jovi song, I know how to lip synch in case I don't, and can also play the air guitar pretty well.
So here's what I'm thinkin'. My brother-in-law, Matt Stansberry, is the best guitarist I've heard since The Eagles' Joe Walsh. If he plays guitar off stage while I fake it with the air guitar on stage while lip synching the concert can continue on as planned. Can't you just see me at the beginning of "Livin' on a Prayer" using the talk box at the beginning? "OOH AH OOH AH OOH OOH OOH, AH OOH AH OOH AH OOH OOH OOH" I know many of you are softly singing along with that so I'll let you finish.... Okay, let me go ahead and prepare my letter to Richie:
Dear Richie,
Hey brother, I understand you're in a bit of a bind right now and may miss the concert tonight. Well, just wanted you to know I have a plan you may enjoy hearing about. I'll need your private jet to go to Oklahoma City and pick up Matt Stansberry. He will play all of your parts tonight while I play air guitar and sing or lip synch, whatever you decide. I think the crowd may actually enjoy seeing a person younger than 45 up on your stage for a change. I'll need to know something soon so I can clear my afternoon schedule at work and prepare. I watch Jeopardy at 4:30 so it would be around 5:30 before I could get to sound check. Yes, I will wear my straw cowboy hat but I can't mess it up because I need it tomorrow night for the Bret Michaels concert. And yes, I realize Survivor is on tonight but my wife can show me how to tivo it. Trust me, I have all the bases covered and am available. Oh, and I usually go to bed around 10:30 so if we can skip the encores and get straight to it that would be great. I look forward to hearing from you.
P.S. Please tell Denise Richards to stop calling me. I'm a married man now.
Mike
So there you have it. We'll see how it goes today. Wish me luck.
Mike
Ft. Leavenworth, KS
3 comments:
Mike, talented as your bro-in-law may be, we have someone right here in Leavenworth who can do whatever needs be done. He's worked with you for the last four years. His name? Terry "Gibson Gunslinger" Elmore. Some know him as Terry "Fender Freak" Elmore and still others refer to him as Terry "The Martin Madman" Elmore. Regardless, with the foul weather moving in, you don't want to run the risk you'll get stuck in bumscrew Oklahoma trying to get your brother in law out of the garage and back in time to play the lead in to Wanted Dead or Alive. Offer to take Terry to an All You Can Eat BBQ when we get back from Germany and I'm sure he'll hook you up.
Cam
Hey! The Matt Stansberry band is well above "garage band" status!
Yeah, if by "garage" you mean on tour in Japan, then you're right!
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