So after several hours in the air on Saturday and at 37,000 feet above northwest Alaska, I decide to pull out my April calendar. Wanted to take a look at my schedule for my time in Kansas City before the next trip on the 24th. Noticed a couple of key events that immediately improved my overall morale after being a little grumpy from sitting in that seat for 9 hours. And it didn't help much that my buddies noticed me watching "P.S. I Love You" a little earlier in the flight. Hard to get out of being caught watching a chick flick.
Anyway, the two events that stood out were two awesome 80's hair band concerts Shelly and I have tickets for--Bret Michaels of Poison on the 18th and Bon Jovi on the 22nd. At this point I immediately switched my ipod to Bon Jovi and played a little air keyboards on my tray table of the beginning of "Runaway" by Bon Jovi followed by some air guitar of "Nothin' But a Good Time" by Poison.
With the volume cranked up the music was apparently escaping some from my headset which resulted in the Korean dude next to me giving me a dirty look. So I told him, "Hey pal, I've been listening to Korean crap music for a week now. You're going to finally enjoy some good music and you're to sit there and like it. And hey buddy, I'm a foot taller than you and weigh a hundred pounds more so I'll do what I want". Okay, I didn't really say that but I thought about it. Okay, I didn't really think about it but I should have. Okay, I really shouldn't have thought about it but I could have. Instead, I gave him a little Asian bow and turned my music down like a good boy.
So as I pondered those concerts and how much fun we'd have I became startled at a thought which resulted in me ripping off my headset and rubbing my forehead with my hand while staring intently at the floor. "HOW IN THE HECK WILL SHELLY FIT INTO HER BLACK LEATHER PANTS?!!!". You see, Shelly told me recently her clothes were beginning to get tighter and she thought she'd make the maternity clothes transition in the next couple of weeks. And she looks smoking hot in those black leather pants and it's been an 80's concert tradition of ours.
I then thought that we might be okay with her wearing hers for these two concerts. But what about later this summer?! I mean, I don't have tickets to anything yet but we usually go to Def Leppard, Journey, Motley Crue, and maybe a little Ratt, Cinderella, and Firehouse. I was a little relieved when I thought that most girls reading this have already had children and have come across the same dilemma.
So here's my question, "Does anyone out there have any black leather maternity pants Shelly can borrow for the next few months?" If not, I am willing to pay $25 plus $18 shipping to have pants like the ones pictured above sent to us from an ebay seller in Canada that I ran across this morning.
That's how important this is to me, folks. We have to maintain our lifestyle as long as we can. I mean, I don't see us taking the twins to see Motley Crue in the summer of 2009 but I haven't completely ruled it out yet.
Let me know what you think and I appreciate any advice as we move forward into maternity clothes. And don't forget to send in your federal taxes tomorrow. I'm not as concerned about states taxes but your federal taxes help pay my income thus supporting my concert habit!
Mike
Kansas City, MO
2 comments:
Mike: forget black leather and go with way faded blue jeans ala Joe Elliott in the Pour Some Sugar On Me video. Just buy a new pair, a few sizes bigger than she would have worn before, wash them like 4,628 times and slit the knees and side seams a bit and you’re good to go. (Note the shout out to the Valley Girls of the 80’s with “like 4,628 times” in the previous sentence and the subtle nod to your military service with the “good to go”) Get a vintage Def Leppard Hysteria Concert Tour shirt, preferably in black with the dates of the tour on the back in size XL off eBay, ask her to tease up her hair and NOBODY will even know she’s “with child”, they’ll just think she’s some smokin’ hot rocker with her middle aged escort, that’s you by the way. Motley Crue in 09 might be a stretch as there is the potential for mass quantities of smokin’ herb to be permeating the air which is not good. You might want to skip down to another Air Supply or Barry Manilow concert and wait until the twins are a bit older before you teach them to bang their heads while rockin’ with a Glam-rock Band. See you at work.
Cam
I'll tell you two things that don't go together...pregnancy and leather pants. Oh, and summer. But good luck with that! You know I love a good hair band.
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